


Moirallegiance and You!

by Azzandra, CredibilityProblem



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Death, F/M, Illustrated, Propaganda, Unhealthy Relationship Model, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzandra/pseuds/Azzandra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CredibilityProblem/pseuds/CredibilityProblem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the previous two subchapters, you learned the vital importance of the concupiscent quadrants both to the functionality of the Alternian Empire and to the continuation of your own personal existence. In this subchapter, we will be focusing our attention on moirallegiance.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Team Jokerkind's entry for HSWC Main Round 1. The theme was "Propaganda".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moirallegiance and You!

**Author's Note:**

> Text by Azzandra, illustrations by CredibilityProblem. Editing done by, and at the suggestion of, friendleader Boco. Special thanks to the rest of Team Jokerkind.
> 
> We would like to thank everybody who voted for us and left comments. We appreciate every single last one of you.

**SCHOOLFEED MODULE 27**

**CHAPTER 2: QUADRANTS AND YOU!**  
___

**Subchapter 4: The Pale Quadrant**

 

**Introduction:**

In the previous two subchapters, you learned the vital importance of the concupiscent quadrants both to the functionality of the Alternian Empire and to the continuation of your own personal existence. In this subchapter, we will be focusing our attention on moirallegiance, the so-called 'pale quadrant'. You will learn various tried-and-true techniques for courting a prospective pale suitor, the proper methods for pacifying your partner, and the Imperial duties expected of you relating to the pale quadrant. You will also be given the best relationship model to emulate, as well as a rare glimpse into the inner workings of Imperial leadership.

The pale quadrant is one of the two conciliatory quadrants. The relationship of two trolls in this quadrant is called 'moirallegiance'. Only two trolls may be quadranted pale with each other at any given time.

As has been covered in previous schoolfeed modules, the troll race is naturally aggressive. Our genetic predisposition towards conquest offers us the clear advantage over other, inferior, species and has aided in our domination of the known galaxy. In some trolls, however, violent impulses may require to be restrained or channeled in more productive directions.

Highbloods especially are possessed of a natural affinity for violence and aggression. In addition to their prolonged lifespans, this makes them naturally suited to leadership, but it may also require more conciliation overall. Lowbloods are far less aggressive and more prone towards complacency, but make more suitable pacifying partners in a moirallegiance.

Moirallegiances between lowbloods and highbloods are generally speaking the most common. However, they are not the only form moirallegiances take. It is also traditional for members of the high nobility (indigo and up) to form moirallegiances in order to strengthen political ties and cement alliances. Such moirallegiances not only keep the Alternian Empire strong, but offer other additional benefits.

To better enhance your understanding of moirallegiance, throughout this subchapter, we will be using as example one of (if not the) most successful model of relationship in the history of the Alternian Empire: the inspirational romance between Her Imperious Condescension and His Eternal Mirth the Grand Highblood. For illustrative purposes, stock photos of these esteemed figures will be used. _We are legally obligated to remind our readers that any unauthorized use, reproduction, or modification of the likeness of Her Imperious Condescension, whether it be in the form of photographs, artistic representations, video, or audio is a criminal offense under code 17 AEC § 106A, with a mandatory minimum sentence of immediate culling._

 

**Courtship:**

There might come a night when inside a young troll, a new feeling will swell. A feeling which is located much higher in the body than concupiscent longing. This feeling will probably alarm the young troll, and make them question whether their unnatural lack of mistrust and territoriality means they suffer from a grotesque congenital condition making them eligible for culling.

If that troll is you, then you needn't worry! Though pale affection might feel strange and shameful at first, it is perfectly natural. For lowbloods, it might manifest as an intense desire to pacify a highblood. For highbloods, it will generally manifest as the strange and inexplicable urge to cease violent behavior at the behest of a lowblood. There is no greater moment in a troll's life than when they first look into another troll's eyes and realize they are looking at someone whose skull they do not wish to reduce to splinters. For both Her Imperious Condescension and the Grand Highblood, this was a feeling experienced only once, and only towards each other. This is an additional reason why the rest of us must show absolute obedience towards the Empire at all times.

The beginning of moirallegiance is always a delicate moment, as it sometimes entails a level of vulnerability which might potentially endanger a troll. You surely remember from Schoolfeed Module 3, any troll to put themselves in a position of vulnerability exposes themselves to the risk of being culled. For this reason, one must be completely certain that their feelings are returned.

The process of courtship for the pale quadrant tends to vary according to the situations and individuals involved, but they generally involve subtly making one's intentions known. Here are some clever examples of how this can be done:

\- hinting that you would regret seeing your potential partner culled;  
\- showing your eligibility as a moirail by engaging in unpredictable acts of violence (with due care not to aggravate or annoy those of equal or greater hemocaste);  
\- casually mentioning that you would enjoy having someone to share in the glory you intend to bring to the Empire.

If a troll responds positively to these gestures, feel free to escalate until you force a romantic confession from them. Once they acquiesce to being quadranted with you, make sure to publicly declare your relationship to as many people as possible, as to avoid the possible embarrassment that would surely result if your partner only claimed to be pale for you in order to placate you. Once the relationship has been declared, you need not worry as much about your partner denying their feelings, as that would reveal them as being promiscuously pale (a culling offense in most circumstances).

  
[ **Fig. 1: It is common for moirails to give each other small handcrafted gifts.**  
 **Pictured here you will observe a necklace made from the skull and vertebrae**  
 **of an enemy of the Empire. A much better fate than a traitor deserves!** ]

It is well known that when our beloved Empress first began courting the Grand Highblood, she culled a grand total of twenty-seven of his advisers over a period of ten sweeps, under the pretense that they did not possess adequate levels of mirthfulness. She also had their horns fashioned into a tasteful set of door handles for her Alternian palace. This clever technique showcased her availability as a pale prospect. She followed up her display of pale intent by demanding that the Grand Highblood entertain her, in a legendary call-out during an emergency war meeting. Thus she offered him a clear way to respond to her advances and curb her rampage.

The Grand Highblood did not respond in the expected way, and instead performed one of the most romantic gestures in the history of the quadrant: he offered her a twenty-eighth adviser to be culled. Thus he relayed not only that he considered her to be perfect just as she was, but also that he would not be an overbearing moirail or exert any undue influence on her.

But their moirallegiance did not become official until much later, when he stopped her from hastily culling a particularly vexing rebel leader and instead suggested a much more merciful course of action by offering him the opportunity to recant his poisonous teachings. Records are unclear about what happened next, but it is most probable that the villain recanted quickly once placed on the jut and begged for the forgiveness of the Empress, which she most likely magnanimously granted. It's even likely that he was given the undeserved honor of dying by the tines of her very own 2*3dent, a fate much more merciful than such individuals ever deserve.

Though considered quite shocking at the time for the Empress to be moirallied to a landdweller, such events have demonstrated that the Grand Highblood is a more than adequate partner, matching our Empress's wisdom and zest for justice—and, of course, her legendary sense of humor.

  
**[Fig. 2: This could have easily been a bloodbath!**  
 **Luckily, with the intervention of Her Imperious Condescension,**  
 **only a mere hundred lowbloods were culled.** ]

**Pacification:**

The main purpose of moirallegiance is pacification. The conciliatory partner's duty is to be of service to the Empire by preventing the disruptions to its operations due to excessive aggression. It is advised that all high-ranking members of the Empire procure a moirail, as the quality of moirallied officers' work has been shown to be vastly superior to that of unmoirallied officers.

Please note, however, that pacification should not be done in public or anywhere non-quadrants could see it. Such immodest displays are shameful and may lead to one's authority being brought into question.

Other than that, however, the method of pacification itself is left up to the conciliatory partner. Our Empress, for example, displays a great fondness for hitting the Grand Highblood upside the head with her formidable 2*3dent. This might seem behavior incompatible with pacification to the unobservant and ignorant troll, but the reader will be reminded that doubting the wisdom of the Empress is a culling offense. Though occasionally this tactic serves only to send the Grand Highblood into a murderous rage the likes of which might never be equaled in the history of our race, it is hardly anything that our Empress cannot keep in line with a few more judicious blows to the cranium.

This is, of course, an advanced technique not to be attempted by novices. You should take note of the fact that it is unlikely you will ever experience a moirallegiance as profound and unshakeable. You should therefore refrain from emulating these aspects of it until you are certain that you would survive the experience.

The more basic method of pacification involves applying rhythmic pressure to the face and body with the palm of the hand. Colloquially, this is known as 'papping'. It will usually be accompanied by soothing susurrations that some refer to as 'shooshes'. Lowbloods are believed to excel at this crude technique. Commonly, this will be used during the most volatile moments of pacification. A capable troll will help their moirail decompress long before the situation approaches critical, through feeling jams and socially acceptable displays of affection. These come in a variety of forms.

  
**[Fig. 3: Pacification in progress.]**

The Grand Highblood performs his pacification duties admirably, supplying our Empress with adequate entertainment in the form of either culling prospects or particularly adept priests of the Church of Mirthful Messiahs. It is a rite of passage for subjugglators to perform for the Empress. A young purple will not receive his club unless he survives the experience. If he does not survive it, then the issue of the club becomes irrelevant.

 

**Other Duties:**

As a moirail you may have access to the most intimate thoughts of another troll. Therefore, you will often be the Empire's first line of defense should the worst occur. If your moirail should ever, in thought or action, attempt to betray the Empire, the task of culling them may fall to you. Take heart in the fact that you will be doing both them and the Empire a great service. A life of rebellion is a fate worse than death, and you will be saving them from it.

Additionally, a moirail's duty is to advise. This burden falls especially on those higher on the hemospectrum, whose life experience may confer special wisdom. Lowbloods are incapable of long-term thought, and might require the aid of a higher-blooded moirail in their decision-making process. This might seem as if it would place an undue strain on the highblooded troll, but there is no real reason to fret, as lowbloods seldom face any complicated dilemmas in their short and uneventful lives.

  
**[Fig. 4: Cooking is but one of many areas in which a moirail's advice is indispensible.]**

It is for this reason that moirallegiances between highbloods, though rarer, are considerably more valuable. Aside from lifespan incompatibility being far less of an issue, a highblooded moirail is in a much better position to understand and help resolve problems. The ultimate model for highblooded moirallegiance are, of course, our Empress and her faithful Grand Highblood. Though each wise and powerful in their own right, in combination their best qualities are multiplied tenfold. This phenomenon, in which two trolls seem to have been destined for each other, is known in some circles as troll serendipity, and there is no greater case to be made for its existence than this very moirallegiance.

Though unlikely that you, the reader, will ever experience anything to equal them, you may at least take comfort in the knowledge that the fate of the Alternian Empire is safe and prosperous in the hands of Her Imperious Condescension and the Grand Highblood. And in the end, is that not what any subject of the Empire truly wishes for?

 

**Review:**  
In this subchapter, you learned the basics of the pale quadrant, methods for courtship and pacification, and an overview of the responsibilities you will have as a moirail and a productive member of the Alternian Empire. Now you are ready to form a moirallegiance of your own!

**Discussion Questions:**  
1\. Taking your position in the hemospectrum into consideration, would you _ever_ enter a moirallegiance with a rustblood?  
2\. Given what you learned in this and previous schoolfeed modules, under what circumstances should you refuse moirallegiance with a seadweller?  
3\. What are some common culling offenses you run the risk of committing in an improper moirallegiance?  
4\. What do you find most inspirational about the moirallegiance between Her Imperious Condescension and the Grand Highblood?


End file.
